Watch: Ina Garten Shares Why She Decided Not to Have Kids
Ina Garten‘slongtime marriage to Jeffrey Garten wasn’t always so easy.
In fact, the Barefoot Contessa host went through a monthslong separation with her husband during the 1970s, with Ina admitting that the pair took a break because “I wanted the freedom to do whatever I wanted to do.”
“I also had never lived on my own,” Ina explained on the Oct. 15 episode of The Mel Robbins Podcast. “I really didn’t know who I was on my own. I went from my parents’ house to Jeffrey’s house, and I just felt like I needed to find out who I was on my own.”
And with Jeffrey commuting from his job in Washington, D.C. to the Hamptons—where her Ina was running her specialty food store—she felt she was “neglecting” their marriage after their 1968 wedding.
“He would come to West Hampton on the weekends when I was the busiest,” the 78-year-old remembered, “and then he would leave on Sunday night to go back just when I had a moment to breathe.”
But when she told Jeffrey, 79, that she wanted to “shift gears” in their relationship, he had a surprising response.
“He said the thing that was the most difficult to walk away from: ‘If you feel like you need to be on your own, you need to be on your own,'” Ina recounted. “Which made me just love him more, which was really hard. He wasn’t mad. He was incredibly empathetic.”
Their marriage was put on pause for four months, with Ina moving into a “terrible little apartment” in New York while Jeffrey went an international work trip for the U.S. State Department.
“I kinda went down the rabbit hole and Jeffrey used to call and check on me, which was really lovely,” Ina shared. “He didn’t try and solve the problem. He just gave me the access to surround myself with people that could help—and that’s what I did.”
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“I also knew that he was incredibly loving about the way he let me go through that process,” she continued. “It was really important for me to figure it out. I learned a lot about myself, and I learned a lot about him.”
So, when the couple finally reunited, Ina said it felt like “falling in love with this incredible guy who just happens to be my husband.”
“We talked about what he wanted, what I wanted,” the cookbook author shared. “We worked out that he felt that he couldn’t travel as much as he could because he was married, and I felt like I was responsible for dinner because we were married—and we realized none of those were true.”
That’s why the pair kept up with their unconventional living arrangements for years, with Jeffrey traveling and Ina staying in New York to run her store. As she put it, her marriage “doesn’t have to look like anybody else’s relationship.”
“All of it has to just work for you,” she added. “It doesn’t matter what other people think.”
For more celebrity couples who made it work after a break, keep reading…
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