Breath of the Wild was one of my first video games after an unintentional gaming hiatus (#adulting, sigh). I was good at it—some of it, at least, things like exploring the map, completing side quests, and flurry rushing enemies. But getting the bonus treasure chest in Ree Dahee Shrine? I couldn’t figure it out.
This was made infinitely worse by the fact that I could see the treasure chest, hopelessly above me, taunting me. Items, runes, armour, food buffs, jumping—nothing worked. This was a game for children, and I, an adult, was stumped. I was embarrassed, doubly so when I eventually looked up the solution.
Which was looking down, by the way. There were metal barrels, which I could use to hit a switch. That was it. That was what stumped me: Something as simple as camera controls.
I had to be the worst gamer ever. If I could even call myself a gamer.
Who defines ‘bad gamer’?
Growing up, I felt a similar pressure to play perfectly or not at all. For games like Harvest Moon DS, I was so invested in beating the game the ‘right’ way — meaning the completionist way — that I created printed packets, some of which were upwards of 10 pages long. I would never deviate from those packets, even if it meant hours of save-scumming or grinding, for fear of missing even the most inconsequential item or cutscene.
In short: I wanted to play, but I also believed I had to play a certain way.
For years I assumed I was alone in my compulsions, but a 2023 study catalogued behaviour like this under the title of self-critical gamers. They noted that these players are often trying “to avoid criticism and protect self-esteem” via this kind of compulsive gaming.
These perfectionist tendencies are something Daniel Kaufmann, PhD has seen as well, in his research and as director of gaming services at Kindbridge Behavioral Health. Known online as Dr. Gameology, he suggested reframing the question. Instead of asking, ‘Am I the worst gamer ever?’, try something a little more personal. As an alternative, he offered: ‘Are you interested, excited, driven, completed, and fulfilled by the things you’re spending your time doing?’
If yes, that’s a sign you’re having a good time. Game on!
But if you’re feeling stressed and tense the majority of the time, or maybe even upset or self-conscious, spiralling in Ree Dahee Shrine? That’s worth interrogating. What’s going on beneath your desire to be perfect?
Once you understand what’s happening, you can change the way you game—and make it less about perfection and more about enjoying your hobby.
Setting your own goals
Kaufmann’s first piece of advice: “Only go after goals that actually matter to you.”
Part of this is remembering that the developers’ goals and your goals might be different. For example, it might be better for the company if you play their game for three straight days, but that’s not what’s best for you, as a person.
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that it doesn’t much matter whether you’re good or bad at gaming.
“It’s about ethical game design,” Kaufmann said. “Was this game designed with a respect for the time and investment from the player, or was it created to gouge them in terms of time investment or even microtransactions?”
Kaufmann practices what he preaches. In his own Breath of the Wild playthrough, he opted out of many of the side quests; instead of forcing himself to complete tasks that he didn’t find interesting or meaningful, he asked himself, ‘What do I love about Zelda, and how can I make this into something that feels more like that?’
He was most interested in traditional Zelda dungeons, so his playthrough focused on beating the Divine Beasts, getting the Master Sword, and defeating Calamity Ganon. Kaufmann gave himself permission to play the game in a way that made it fun for him, on his own terms—not those set by a completionist checklist.
That isn’t to say that Kaufmann never does completionist runs; he does. But when he does, he makes sure that he actually wants to do that, first.
Setting your own in-game goals can empower players struggling with perfectionism; knowing that a particular achievement or side quest doesn’t matter for your personal goal can make it easier to break the spell of perfectionism and let you move on.
Write it out
To aid you in this sort of introspection, Kaufmann recommends keeping a notebook and writing down how you feel at the end of a play session. A few sentences is enough to capture the gist.
For example:
- Did you have fun today?
- Are you okay with how much time you’re spending on this one level, boss, game, etc.?
- Are you using this game to avoid something else happening in your life right now? (And if you are, would you be better served addressing that instead?)
- Are you going for a completionist run because you don’t want the game to be over? (If yes, why not?)
The crux, according to Kaufmann, is to answer the following: ‘Is this worth it to me?’ These questions can help you identify where that line is in your life right now, which may change over time as your other responsibilities shift and change.
Set limits
Perfectionism, for some, may manifest as a desire to play without ‘cheating‘ (meaning: using guides). For others, it may appear in forms such as ‘I’m not putting this controller down until I beat this level.’
If you fall into the second camp, Kaufmann recommends deciding, before you even power on your console, how long you want to play. “The player needs to know their life,” he said. “They need to have an idea of: How much time do I actually have to play this?”
‘Too much gaming’ is difficult to quantify, as the amount will differ for each person. Experiment with different session lengths to see what feels best. Setting clearer parameters around your gaming can make it easier to save and walk away when that allotted time is up, even if that boss isn’t quite defeated. Features like the Switch and Switch 2’s sleep mode make this even easier, as you can pause anytime you need to.
Perhaps the most important thing to remember is that it doesn’t much matter whether you’re good or bad at gaming. Whether or not we look up solutions or push for 100% completion is irrelevant—if we ‘game’, we’re gamers. Being good is secondary; what’s most important is that we enjoy our hobbies. We don’t need to use our gaming to prove anything.
