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He’s not hosting like he did at WrestleMania 42 last month, but recently retired, 17-time WWE World champion John Cena will return to the company he now serves as an ambassador for on Saturday night (May 9) at Backlash in Tampa, Florida.
What will he be doing there? Cena’s called whatever it is “something epic” involving “history-making news” that will “shock the very foundation of WWE”. Sure, it’s easy to guess it’s related to Club WWE, the latest paid fan experience offering from the fine folks at TKO Group Holdings — and some of us may still guess that.
But the learned blowhards of Cageside Seats dot com have some alternate ideas…
What’s Cena’s BIG NEWS?!?!
Geno Mrosko: The Club WWE announcement will center around a marketing pitch that “You CAN see me” and he’ll start doing more appearances at major events with meet-and-greets for the low price of $2,349.99, with no less than six upper mid-card talent cut to account for the cost of running this gimmick. Pick: Marketing
Sean Rueter: The Club WWE promotion is the obvious answer, and while I think we’ll get a ton of that… I’m gonna try to be optimistic. Even TKO should know that Cena needs to deliver something that everyone cares about, regardless of whether or not they can afford or otherwise choose to pay for “Gold membership” or whatever. So let’s say… Pick: The return of King & Queen of the Ring, and this year the winners get SummerSlam main events
Kyle Decker: It may not be history making for anyone else, but it will be for me because I really miss having a nice head of hair. Pick: John Cena is going to set me up with his world class hair plug guy
Claire Elizabeth: I buy that it’s Club WWE related but I’m not gonna be cynical, no. I think ol’ John Boy is going to announce that Club WWE membership will include all the content you got from Club WWN back in those post-FloSlam (remember FloSlam?!) pre-shutdown Evolve glory days! The complete Evolve Wrestling archive, including all 596 days of Timothy Thatcher’s glorious reign as Evolve World Champion! The complete Full Impact Pro archive, including that show where CM Punk and Homicide had a Falls Count Anywhere that ended up in a strip club! The complete Style Battle archive, including dozens of matches that I’m the only person who watched! The complete Shine Wrestling archive! The complete, ah… ACW was it? archive? And some other stuff? It’s been a long time… Pick: Club WWN announced as bonus content for Club WWE
Cain A. Knight: Cena’s history-making news is probably TKO’s latest attempt to milk every single dollar out of WWE’s hardcore fan base. After a super rich guy actually paid his way to sit at the commentary table during Rhea Ripley’s WrestleMania 42 match, why not go all the way with that concept? Cena will announce the creation of a new main roster championship that is on the line each week and goes to the fan or group of fans who pay the most money for it. Let’s call it the WWE Fan Experience Championship, presented by DUDE Wipes, that’s contractually obligated to be featured on more WWE PLEs than the Women’s United States Championship. Pick: Cena introduces the WWE Fan Experience Championship, presented by DUDE Wipes
Marcus Benjamin: WWE Club aside, let’s go wild. Pick:Cena and The Rock announce that Jakob will resurrect and appear in the next Fast & Furious movie. WWE Club members will get the chance to go to the world premiere of the “last” Furious film and remember that family is forever.
M. G0MEZ: Like most, I assumed Cena’s appearance would tie into Club WWE. He practically said as much when he first announced he’d be at Backlash. To break the monotony, I initially made a quip about him starting a podcast with Nikki Bella. But after he promised an announcement that would shake the foundation of WWE, it has to be huge. It better be. Pick: A huge WrestleMania reveal that ties into Club WWE
Jon Velez-Jackson: I incorrectly predicted that Karrion Kross was going to be the surprise in the crate at Elimination Chamber, so I’m going to say he and Scarlett will return at Backlash. Cena will first introduce Nick Khan, who will be roundly booed as he makes his way to the ring before taking the mic and sharing that he’s paying for Kross and Bordeaux to return out of his own paycheck. Pick: Karrion Kross and Scarlet
Josh Jagler: So, I predicted that the crate at Elimination Chamber would be the unveiling of a John Cena statue, ala the one they just revealed for Hulk Hogan, and it ended up being Danhausen. Maybe I was onto something and the universe was sending me mixed signals, and a few months early. Either way, I think I’ve cracked the code on this one. Pick: The reveal of a golden Danhausen Statuehausen
Your turn!
